19
Dec
06

They are…so much!

Aren\’t they just beautiful?

Life with 3 kiddos can be awesome, fun, crazy, hairy, busy and ugly at times and all at once. Many days I dream of more free time, more me time, more sleep in days but I would never ever change this life of mine. I love it so much. I am excited about their future, who they will be and how I will see myself in them…all hoping it is the good things.

They make me laugh, scream and cry all at once. Never have I known such fear as the fear I have felt since being a mom. It is almost indescribable. I want so much to protect them from everything, give them everything, and be their everything. Yet, I know I cannot do that for them it would only hinder them throughout life and end up hurting them. Although the oldest is just 5 it is difficult to let her spread her wings fly in the way 5 year olds need to. I love to see it, I get excited about all the new things she can do yet it is sad all at the same time. Little by little what I was to her, her reader, her doer, is being slowly chipped away while I am scrambling to find out what am I to be for her now at this new stage. I feel this for all 3 of my beauties.

All 3 are oh so very, very different. My oldest is a mini me. Very logical, exact, organized, everything has a place and an order and they must stay that way. ( I feel for her as she grows up… learning the world does not function that way will be heartbreaking). She desires to be independent and learn on her own. My second is all about organized (well maybe not organized) chaos. She is all for others around her to be neat, clean etc. yet she does not require the same for herself. She is very creative and needs more affection and playtime than my first. And my sweet baby. Not exactly sure yet what life has planned for him but he is definitely a do it yourself-er when he wants to be. But for now we enjoy all the cuddling, loving, laughing and new stages a baby brings.

I see older kids and can\’t imagine mine being that big and that old… yet I remember looking at each of them as a baby and thinking the same. Time flies and it passes us by at mach 1 after we have kids and seems to speed up with each one we have. It is so bittersweet. I am excited with this life of mine and so thrilled to be the first witness to their life yet as each day, each month, each year go by I long for the days that have past us and hope that as the future approaches I take it easy and try not to hold on too much, for their sake.

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