25
Mar
07

These 3 Truths

We all have things we like and do not like about ourselves, some we can change others we cannot. Then we have those truths about us that no matter what happens in our life they remain within us and they can dictate how we react to situations and guide our decisions.

Our move last year has helped me grow as a person. Being in a new place and having to rely on your self and family only has brought us closer together and made us stronger. Having to make new friends in my young thirties, my adult life, I have realized I am more cautious and picky about who I want close to me. Interacting with new people has shown me things about myself, I already knew, but I have come to realize these things will not change no matter what life brings.

1. I cannot lie.

Not that I want to, I don’t like being lied to so I have chosen in life not to lie to others. This truth holds true even in the most innocent times. I went out with the girls last night and we played a game, some of us were trying to think of funny, not totally true answers to the questions to make it fun, I had such a hard time doing that…so no matter what I cannot lie. If I do I wear a face that says I am lying!! My parents told me this as a child and at 30 it is still the same.

2. I am a rule follower.

I have a hard time not following rules, whatever the rule may be. I even have issues, small anxiety attacks, when I am with others who do not follow the rules. I really have a hard time dealing with it. For example, here in our neighborhood they are constructing a road that once completed will shorten our time to get to places. It will be our new short cut and make things so much easier. We cannot wait. But right now it is just a hard packed dirt road that is covered with ROAD CLOSED signs and barricades. But with our Suburban Jason can go “off road” to get around the signs on weekends when there are no workers and use this shortcut. They girls love it they call it the “fun way”. This bothers me because we are not following the rules. I am paranoid and anxious when in the car and we go the “fun way” because I fear we will get caught. I hated getting in trouble, and feared being caught all through childhood and teen years those few times when I did not follow the rules. I know this probably makes me a not so fun person who cannot be spontaneous a lot. But it is who I am. So think of me whatever you wish but I know I cannot change this about me so it is either love me or hate me.

3. I am a donut lover.

I have always known I love donuts. I buy them a lot and love to eat them especially while sipping coffee. I do not eat them as much as I want because I do teach my kids healthy eating habits and I know I need to be a role model for that. But this morning it hit me that I need donuts more than I allow myself. I am pouring my coffee, then sipping it on the couch and my mouth is motioning the chewing of a donut. I can seriously feelit in my hands and taste it on my tongue. We have no donuts in the house today but all I can imagine eating this morning are donuts. So it is this truth that is making it hard for me to go in the kitchen and eat breakfast, to settle for something less than a donut.

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