01
Jul
09

Where is Emily Post?

I think Emily Post has gone missing, has anyone seen her?

I am sure it happened long before the World Wide Web but since the invasion of the Internet in every-ones home manners have been set aside, thrown out the window and do children really know what manners are these days? Frankly, I am more shocked at the adults that have an abundant lack manners. But with email and the growing trend to be impersonal how are kids learning to be polite and respectful when they can hide behind a computer to communicate and they see adults doing the same thing?

Why is it odd and uncomfortable when my child tells her friend that if it is OK for her to spend the night than her mom needs to call my mom and give her the details? For one I am not going to assume the child asked her mom and that she said yes. Kids are scheming creatures. Why is the mom so uncomfortable with me on the phone? Why did I have to explain to her that I feel her calling me is the appropriate thing to do so I know the parent is OK with the plan the kids have told me, I would call her if I wanted her child to stay at our house. This type of situation should only get better when her son is back at home… I am just not going to let me little girls stay the night when a 12-13 year old boy is in the house. Sorry people, they are my kids and I am responsible. When Joshua is that age I expect the same feelings from my daughters friends parents. But, that said no invitations will be given out for sleep overs unless dad and son are gone on some type of male bonding camping trip.

Due to a good friends frustrations, when is it cool to use Evite for every function or gathering. Printed invitations are nice, thoughtful, special and I am sorry when throwing a shower or other very special event printed or handmade invitations are the only acceptable invitation to send. Taylor was 6 before I ever used Evite for her birthday. That is just me though, I love making invites and I have for each childs birthday every year up to the age of 6. I only stopped because well, room moms only collect email addresses, not phone numbers or physical addresses, if they had you bet I would have sent out handmade invites. I even sent out mailed inviations for my husband 40th birthday and that was a lot of invitations but, in my opinion, the appropraite thing to do.

Speaking of invitations…regardless of mailed or emailed invites does anyone know what R.S.V.P means? I seriously doubt it because no one RSVP’s. I think it is a shame I have to hunt you down and ask you point blank ” Are you coming to the party?” And when I ask you don’t be offended or look at me funny because I know I gave you my phone number, email and obviously my address so quite frankly I should not have to ask you. Take the 2 seconds to RSVP in a timely manner. As the party planner I need to be prepared for you in food, activities, and gifts. If you do not RSVP but show up we all look bad and feel awkward.

Then there is the stopping by to hang out unannounced. I am all for surprise visits and an excuse to escape the mommy and homemaker chores every now and then but come on…I have 4 kids, 2 dogs, a hubby who works from home so some heads up and/or checking with me first would be appreciated. Not to mention if I am inthe middle of a big clean up  and at the very least need totidy up I would so love to do that before you came in.

Adults, any grown person please do not tell my kids they do not have to call you sir or ma’am. In fact, yes, they HAVE to. This is a house rule, it shows you respect and it teaches them how to respect people. Anyone over 16 my kids will refer to you as sir or ma’am and they will not call you by your first name. Depending on my relationship and their relationship with you it will be either Mr./Ms./MRS. last Name or Mr. Ms./Mrs. First Name. You saying otherwise undermines my parental authority to my own children and tells my children and I you actively choose not to be respected. Yet, you will demand respect when you do not choose to be respected on a daily basis.

Along those same lines, please, thank you and may I will always be used and will always be expected to be heard from others.

Not long ago I let a sales clerk have it when after finding out one of my children at the age of 4 stole an item I made her go back to the store with me, find the clerk that helped us and then she had to apologize for her actions. She stood there ashamed and crying carrying out the apology all while the clerk, a grown woman- not a teeny bopper, told me that was unnecessary. EXCUSE ME! UNNECESSARY, I DO NOT think so. My child will own up to their actions, admit their wrong doing, apologize and then ask what they need to do to make it right. And people wonder why young kids steal, think they do nothing really wrong, have no remorse for their actions.

When people sit around and chat about the growing numbers of  this or that that has a negative impact on society no one realizes their lack of respect for ones self, each other, their complacency and impersonal behaviors toward people is the real reason for any downward turn in life and the cause for rising violence, theft, school drop outs, and the vansihing of Emily Post along with many other negative behaviors.

We are all responsible for the next generations outcome, for how they will view themselves, treat others andwhat they choose to pass on to the following generation, parent or not you are part of the problem or part of the solution. It does take a village, no man is an island so stop living life as if that is true and most defiantly do not infringe upon how I parent in teaching my children manners, respect, confidence and how to successfully be a contributing part of society for greater good.

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3 Responses to “Where is Emily Post?”


  1. 1 Emily
    July 3, 2009 at 9:51 AM

    whew…. did you need a nap after that post???? You know I love you and I admire you!
    I want you to know, every evite I get from the ship, come on, there are more than a thousand of us…. I always respond. Every single invitation I get from the spouses group. They know I am not there, I send a personal email response thanking them for the invitation and letting them know I will not be able to attend. Whether they care or not, it is the right thing to do.

    I love you and think you are doing a WONDERFUL job raising the next generation of well mannered children!

  2. 2 Bronwyn
    July 3, 2009 at 10:22 AM

    yeah, I got on my soapbox a bit huh? One thing after another had filled my cup of frustrations and thus this blog entry was born. Yes, I totally get evite for large events, the cost to do even cheap printed ones for ship stuff would be ridiculous. I use evites for BBQ and wine tastings. It was just sad that my friend was hurt and got into a tiff with a good friend of hers because she sent out printed invites to a bridal shower and did not use an evite. Just so sad…

  3. 3 Bronwyn
    July 3, 2009 at 10:25 AM

    oh and I meant to say a big Thank you for your compliments. I so appreciate them. Love you!


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