12
Feb
10

Coming to terms with me.

I do not think I am much different from anyone else. I have never thought of myself as special or anything. I have just lived my life doing the best I can and focusing on my faith. I believe and trust that God will take care of me and when I mess up He forgives. I know if I can just sit back and allow Him to lead everything will be so much better.

The talents I have, well I can’t say I see them as talents. I just see them as things I like to do; organize, plan parties, run, be a good mom, etc… I see what I do as just following steps and if you follow the steps then of course you will get to the result, the finish line and so on. I plan parties because I love to entertain. I run because it is me time, it keeps me fit and healthy. I organize because that keeps me sane and relaxed.

You want to plan a party then you make a guest list, a menu and decorate etc…

You want to run a certain distance you make a schedule, work up to that, eat well and stay hydrated…

You want to organize you look at the space and what needs to fit there, you sort and throw out etc…

See I do not see them as talents, gifts or special. This is my normal… Yet everyone around me sees them as great and awesome and astonishing.

Just this week it clicked with me that my norm is not your norm. Now I know that sounds easy , simple and you are saying D’uh! But when you understand that I see things as following certain steps then I think anyone and everyone could do the same thing, maybe better, if they followed the steps. So how would I then see it as outstanding?

This past week I have had a great conversation with my mom and J. That has helped me see things from others perspectives. They have helped me see that my talents are just that. Gifts I have been given, talents I have that not everyone has. They see the ease at which I do those things and the joy behind it and how I can focus on every detail. Wouldn’t it be so much easier to see yourself the way others see you? Maybe then I would not have the confidence issues I suffer from at times. Maybe then I could feel good about the compliments I receive instead of feeling uncomfortable.

I have been told by many to embrace my gifts, my talents and pursue them with great confidence and assurance that I can pull it off. Easier said then done.

Thousands, millions of people around the world have run a full marathon. What is the big deal. If you want to run 26.2 miles you can. There are many resources out there to tell you how to properly train. So what’s the big deal I asked my mom when she was going on how great that was that I did it. I told her I just followed A, B, C, and so on so of course I was going to cross the finish line. She told me it is the fact that you did A, B, C, and so on while raising 4 kids with a hubbie who travels. The fact that I got up daily to do my mom life of 4 and train hard, rest enough, eat right etc is the accomplishment not the finishing of 26.2 miles.

I suppose that is true, I just think differently and just think I am normal, ordinary not extraordinary or anything. So I have trying to come to terms with me…how I really see myself vs others. Trying to be my best, be confindent in all things. I have 4 kiddos that need to learn how to do their best. Have great confidence in themselves and can go out into the world sharing their talents with pure joy.

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