09
Mar
11

Taken by surprise

Ever have moments where you are not fully grasping what is going on at the moment? I had one of those yesterday and I feel it has caused rifts with people unnecessarily. That it is being looked at in the wrong way.

We live in a great neighborhood, many friends for my kids to play with. We have a great yard and most days we have several children having fun in our yard. And, I love that. I know all the children and their parents, I know how to contact them. Well yesterday the kids moved from the backyard to the front. When they go to the front I go out there to watch them. As I was walking out I see a car pull up and a boy jump out. I knew of these people. They are friends of friends. The dad said his son was begging him to come to our area to play. (He is friends with a neighbor) asked if it was ok if he played and he told his son to go with the friend when the friend went home. At that moment I said ok. (his kid was out playing already and dad was in the car ready to drive off, he never got out) Plus, I had assumed that the neighbor who they are friends with had some knowledge they would be dropping off their son. Well that was not the case.

So I am now shocked and distressed. A child was dropped off in my neighborhood, at my house, people I hardly know, have no contact info for and know nothing about their child. Does he have allergies? Other conditions? Then I think about this situation. One thing the dad said to his son was “you listen to these people” really?! He is ok dropping off his kid at someone’s house and he does not know my name? He did not even run it by anyone what he was doing? This is just foreign to me. Call me old fashion or too southern but I grew up and what I teach my kids is that you wait for an invitation. You do not invite yourself and you definitely do not show up unannounced. Oh and did I mention the child is 6, maybe 7 years old?!

Well, then a gal my oldest daughter knows parents show up to look at our deck. They plan to build one. They look at it, talk awhile and leave but the child stays behind. I had no idea the parents left. Really?! Just leave your child in my yard and not let me know you are leaving?

I was now inside cooking dinner. Then I go to my garage to tell the older kids to clean up and come in and the sister of the young boy (who was dropped off) is walking my way into my house to get water. I okayed that, she talked on her phone then went back outside. I am cooking and then go in the back to but dinner on the grill and when I walk back in a bit later the sister is exiting my house and my fridge is wide open! Really?! I do not own a revolving door, this gal was just hanging in the neighborhood not playing with my kiddos. Needless, to say after that my kids came in and my house was closed for the evening. I did not have time to baby-sit the 10 kids that were in and out all day and since it was 5:30 it was time to come in, eat, get showers, do homework and go to bed.

Now I need to say, I want my kids to love to be at home and I want their friends to love to be here with them. My home, fridge and pantry is for the sharing but I have an issue with the lack of respect and manners of people lately. Call before you come over, ask before you help yourself, and can we get a please and thank you?

Well hubbie called the parents that dropped off their son to say hey we have no issue if your kid wants to play here but can you call first, give us a way to contact you and let us know if your son has allergies or other needs. Hubbie says it did not seem to be taken well, the other dad understood what hubbie was saying but he did not want to take down our numbers for the future. We were a bit surprised by what seemed to be a whatever, I can’t believe you are calling me attitude. I could be wrong about how they feel. I hope I am. But the simple fact is a quick “is it ok?” question while you are in your car in the street and I am in my driveway with 6+ kids between us is not an efficient way to pass off your child to me.

Our concern/issue is not having any info on the parents or the child. Not asking prior to the drop off is an annoyance not an issue. I treat all kids who come in my house like my own children. I pray nothing serious happens to anyone ever and definitely not when kids are having fun but life happens and anything can happen in an instant. Just give me your contact info before you leave and write my numbers down in case something happens to you. To me that is just common sense. Plain courtesy and respect is all that is needed.

In my frustrated worry of the whole thing I did speak my thoughts out loud on facebook about how carefree, assuming attitudes are more careless than anything else. May not have been the best thing to do since the mom of the boy is a friend on facebook but the question you have to ask is how would you feel if I just drop off 1 or 4 of my kids at your house without letting you know and not giving you my cell number? Again, call me weird but just because I know who someone is and friend them on facebook because we have had a few conversations doe snot equal me knowing how to get a hold of you or know your child better so I can care for them when they have been left at my house.

I realize some might read this, maybe my neighbor, maybe the parents of the young boy, and feel I am being ridiculous or old-fashioned. I thought about whether I would post this story or not. My aim is not to make anyone mad or hurt them. It is not to make things difficult for my neighbor and her friendship with this family but this is my blog and it is about my life with my hubbie and precious kids. I feel we fight an uphill battle with teaching our kids to be respectful of others and their possessions, using manners and showing respect to all people and all the values and morals we want our kids to grow up with. The last few months I have had more conversations with people of all ages about why I require my kids to be polite, say yes ma’am, no sir, etc and to ask before they go anywhere, use something that is not theirs and have specific apologies when they have done a wrong to someone. It is just baffling to me why all that seems to be a lost art.

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