more of my vague ramblings

I wish, at times, life could be easier. Somethings I am fine with having to work through and deal with, others not so much. Like, I want to run from it, ignore it.

The issue at hand is uncomfortable and awkward. I am not a fan of awkward. But ultimately, there will be benefits. It will bring some peace and comfort to my family. I just wish that the road for that peace and comfort was not paved with the issues I am sorting out and the ick I am going to have to walk through. I know it will all be worth it and after this has passed I will look back knowing I did that right thing and possibly seeing it as not so much of the big deal I am making it to be right now.

The whole thing is sad but it is not mine to control or fix. Ultimately, I have to protect my family. I can only control how I handle the issue. I cannot take responsibility for others actions or feelings. I know a handful of people (BFF’s and my hubbie) in my life that can take something like I am faced with and walk away without so much emotional distress.

This has been a burden for a long time now and if I am really honest about it I would have to say I am not surprised. There have many signs, red flags for a few years now. I think we held onto a hope things would be different. And quite frankly, I ignored it for a few years too.


Now if only I could move forward and not remain stuck where I am…the first hurdle is just to get moving and not keep trying to sweep it under the rug.



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August 2011
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