18
Jun
13

Workout until you cry?!

I’ve read some yoga stretches, deep stretches, especially in your hips have caused some to feel deep emotions and cry…all of it being a complete and utter surprise to them. They weren’t sad, depressed or mad before they stretched but the exercise seemed to ignite something and deep emotions were released.

When I read this I just laughed to myself and thought it a bit crazy that they left out some sad story about their life they were dealing with because a yoga magazine was not the place to air your laundry or pull out the skeletons in your closet. But, I won’t lie; there have been times in my life that I wanted to cry. I knew crying would release the pressure so I did all these yoga stretches trying hard to get in touch with that emotional button that would release the damn. It never worked. Maybe I was just not flexible enough, maybe my form was really off or heck, I am not Zen or hippie enough to connect emotionally to a few stretches.

The fact that I try hard not to cry when I really want to and that countless times I suppress my emotions and those times I can’t stop the flood gates but I try with great strength and determination to stop the gushing didn’t seem to matter in those times that I wanted to cry. I didn’t want to acknowledge that, maybe because I fight so hard to not show negative, upsetting, and sad emotions that it may be the reason I just can’t turn on the water works when I want to.

I mean, the whole idea that exercise taps into your emotions and can cause one to sob still sounds a bit crazy to me…even though I know it’s possible. I have felt it before and cried after a physical accomplishment before. But it has only happened after running a race but only after a half marathon or full marathon. Plus, not every race did I cry at the finish line…and I never cried or felt a deep, strong emotion after any training run.

BUT today I think I tapped into that emotional well a little bit due to my workout. Last week I had a good 5 days of intense, hard, sweating buckets and leave pieces of yourself on the ground workouts. I ended the week with a fast 5 mile run, a good reward for the hard week of boot camp. I was excited; my legs were light and fast! I took full advantage of a rest day on Sunday. I stayed home, in my pj’s, ALL DAY!!! Then Monday arrived and my body fought for the workout. My legs didn’t want to do the entire routine. But I did. The work load was heavy getting my body to continue and give it all I had and more. I feel I did my best but I also felt like I wasn’t working hard enough. Tuesday, today, showed up and my inner thighs made it very clear they were alive and had worked plenty, my chest wasn’t excited about waking up either but off to boot camp I went. It wasn’t an easy workout; in fact Meleah used the word terrible in her description. (Something we all want to hear from our trainer at the beginning of the workout) We knew it would be tough.  I moaned a bit, I left buckets of sweat everywhere and so much concentration was needed I couldn’t even complain.

But on the drive home, emotions started to flood all of me…I feel I am on the verge of tears. I want to cry, I can feel the tears, the flood just beneath the surface…like its bubbling up, creeping its way out much like hot lava underneath a mountain just before the volcano explodes. I have yet to shed a tear, I am not crying but I think I have tapped into that thing, that emotional depth that some experience when doing deep yoga stretches. Have a reached a point in my workouts that take me to a
place physically, that goes beyond what my mind wants to do and it touches me deeply, emotionally? Maybe…I want to start another workout, try to get those emotions out because the tears, the flood, the release is right there, right under a thin surface just waiting to break free.

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