06
Jan
15

Out with the old and in with the new.

We got back from a 2 week trip last Friday and let me tell you what I have not done.

  •  I have not unpacked.
  • I have not undecorated my house completely.
  • I have not done a full house cleaning.
  • I have not made my bed at all.
  • I have not cared about what tasks I have not completed yet.

But here is what I have done:

  • I have bought groceries.
  • I have gone out to dinner and a fun light show with the family.
  • I ran 12 miles Saturday and worked out on Monday and today.
  • I took my youngest two shopping to spend their Christmas money.
  • I made some great dinners and we have spent the evenings, talking and laughing over food as a family.
  • I can promise that I cannot promise I will unpack or undecorate anymore today.

So why am I writing about all this? Well, because it is a big deal. It is a HUGE deal for me. There was a time when we would get home from a trip, regardless how late, and I had to unpack everything, go through the stacks of mail, clean what was dirty all before I could go to bed. It wore me out, stressed out my family and made my kids anxious. I have learned none of that matters. I have come to terms with it being OK that I do not take pride or a sense of accomplishment with conquering a to do list. In fact, my to do list is changing from task oriented to people and making meaningful moments oriented. I have, still am, letting go of all that which makes me anxious, stressed and steals joy. Over the last year and a half I have been embracing more laughs, fun, silliness, creative moments, being still with those I love, not caring what anyone thinks of what I do or don’t do, how I parent, choices I make, how I spend my time, how I spend my money or don’t spend it…. it is has been freeing and fun. When you let go of all that junk of trying to please people and feel accomplished you have more time to enjoy life, see the meaningful moments, make meaningful moments, be you and make your life yours. I have 6 people I only need to worry about. God, Jason, and my 4 kids. When I focus on God He takes care of the rest. When my husband and kids feel loved and adored it is the best thing. Everything else out side of my home is extra, lots of good extra but I cannot be the friend, sister, daughter, volunteer, whatever…whatever…. if I don’t keep my house in order first.

I say no a lot more. I love it. No need for extra work, burden, or hectic schedules if it doesn’t meet the needs of my family and I or if it is not a calling from God. Life will go on, I have my kids and my health for a short time so I will choose to enjoy them first. Read past blog posts like Finding the Middle or Fighting the Demons and you can see how tense I lived my life. Stark contrast to how I feel today.

In all these positive changes I can look back over pictures of myself and my family and see many changes. We are smiling more, having more fun, being super silly. I am in more of the pictures and am taking more pictures of our ridiculousness and the kids love it. I look forward to the future because I know we will continue to make fun, silly and wonderful memories and I look forward to the days we sit and reminisce about the past because I know it will make us smile and laugh, have little regrets and sadness.

So Happy New Year. Here is to me doing more of not doing but enjoying the blessings of a husband, children, great dogs, amazing friends and extended family that are in front of me, being present with them and making great memories as we do life together.

 

 

 

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