You are not their friend you are their parent, so act like one!

a12ea2bd416889abfb007d3cfc7d5ab5If you become their friend along the way that is a great reward but you should not start out as their friend. They need you to be a parent more than they need you to be a friend.

Due to your lack of parenting, involvement with your child, assuming the school or church will teach your child how to be a decent person who cares, respects and is kind to all persons I am forced to fight battles with and for me kids that should not be happening and are not pleasant. The battles cause us to suffer through emotional pain together. Despite what I’ve taught my kids about love, kindness, compassion, courage and being who God made them to be, despite all my encouragement, how much I embrace my kids and teach them the things you choose not to we all suffer. You suffer and your child suffers you just may not realize it yet.

My child’s world falls apart and their inner being is hurt and chipped away at because you, as a parent don’t seem to know or care what type of person your child really is and what they really do. When is the last time you watched them interact with their friends and they didn’t know you were watching or listening? When did you last check their text messages, Instagram posts, Facebook page, etc…etc…etc..?

How often do you sit down for a family meal and discuss what they think, feel, what happened at school, how their friends are and know them all by name and what they might be going through? How often are they home for you to interact with or do you have them so busy with activities there is not time for family connections, fun and mentoring? Or maybe it’s not activities but its friends, do they spend more time with their friends or locked up in their rooms alone that you really don’t know what is going on in their life?

The phone is not a babysitter. It is not a safety net. It does not replace you. It does not mean they will be free from harm because you drop them off at the mall, Starbucks, someone’s home, the park, etc…but you act like that. The computer and TV are not their babysitter either. Have you placed filters on them? Probably not because there are not filters on the phone you gave them. They are exposing my kids to content suited for grown adults and then they ridicule them for not being knowledgeable about it.

You don’t’ get a hall pass or an easy way out because they are in middle or high school and have a phone and can drive. You still should be setting limits on what they see and hear and what they do. THEY ARE NOT GROWN! They cannot make a smart, educated, rational decision and fully understand the consequences it will have on them or others. Their brain is not fully formed, it is still growing and it will not be done growing until they are 25, yes TWENTY-FIVE YEARS OLD!

Why do you let them watch whatever they choose? Why do you trust the ratings given to movies and TV shows? It’s only a guideline. It does not mean all PG movies are for every child just because you watch it with them. And let’s remember when we were growing up there were only 2 movie ratings, PG and R. The 1980’s PG movies would be closer to PG-13/R now days but yet you make a family night of watching those movies. Movies where there is cussing, nudity, drinking, etc… This only sends messages that they can watch anything they want. That the behaviors are not that bad. You encourage movie makers to continue making those type of movies. You fill their minds with negative ways to live and treat others. Do you understand that what goes in the mind comes out of their heart, they live it? Take the movie Mean Girls, despite the somewhat happy ending and bad cliques disbanding at the end I promise you that is not what most kids take away from the movie. Instead they are acting out the ugly, mean, rude, and spiteful behavior 90% of the movie is about. Ask any school counselor or teacher and they will tell you the same.

NEWSFLASH In case you didn’t know it there is far more teaching and training of a child that goes beyond reading, writing and arithmetic.

They have to know:

  • How to show respect.
  • What is self-respect
  • What is self-worth
  • How to be kind.
  • How to be loyal.
  • What integrity looks like.
  • How to be honest.
  • How to stick up and care for those who can’t do for themselves.
  • How to be aware of their surroundings.
  • How to help those in need.
  • How to love and to know it’s far more than a word, or kiss.
  • How to protect themselves and stay safe.
  • How to show concern for others.
  • What is sympathy and empathy?
  • How to be brave and stand up for what is true and right even if they are in the minority.
  • How to have courage.
  • What bravery and courage look like and to know it does not look like a selfish, manipulative, mean girl.
  • The dangers of social media.
  • How not to be selfish and rude.
  • That the number of followers or Facebook friends you have means absolutely nothing. It doesn’t make you better, popular, more loved or even liked.
  • They cannot take their personal issues and heartache out on others.
  • It is OK to ask for help, have a mentor, counselor etc… it doesn’t make them less than.
  • That some relationships just end and it that it is OK, it does not make them unworthy.
  • Mistakes are OK.
  • No one is perfect.
  • They are unique and special.
  • Being themselves is the best person they can be.
  • How not to be judgmental.
  • You can’t/shouldn’t and do not need to say everything that enters your mind.
  • Everyone is different and that is what makes the world amazing.
  • They do not need to attend every argument they are invited to.

This is hard stuff people but it is the most important. What good is an education if they are rude, spiteful, selfish people lacking in respect and compassion? Our children are our future. What kind of future leaders are we going to have if they cannot learn to be a decent, caring, honest human beings who give back to society. They should learn those things from your example not social media, TV, friends who don’t know all of the above. We already live in a selfish, narcissistic world where adults determine worth by the number of followers or online friends. Can anyone else see this is detrimental for all of us and our future? I am reminded of some lyrics by Whitney Houston.

I believe the children are our future Teach them well and let them lead the way Show them all the beauty they possess inside Give them a sense of pride to make it easier

Children need to learn they are beautiful on the inside. The outside should not be the focus of beauty. If your inside is beautiful it cannot help but make you beautiful on the outside. They need to know they are worthy because they have gifts and talents, not worthiness based on how many friends or what material things they possess. They need to know how to be happy with themselves, to be confident in who they are. When they know that they know that they know these things there is no limit to how far they can go, what they can achieve, how much love they can give and how blessed their life can become.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.


0 Responses to “You are not their friend you are their parent, so act like one!”

  1. Leave a Comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Day by Day

March 2015
« Feb   Apr »

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 9 other followers

RSS Daily Quote

  • Victor Hugo
    "There is nothing like a dream to create the future."
  • Woodrow Wilson
    "The man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it."
  • Thomas Fuller
    "In fair weather prepare for foul."
  • Margaret Thatcher
    "Pennies do not come from heaven. They have to be earned here on earth."

What I said…


%d bloggers like this: