21
Jun
16

40 sounds so odd….

love_your_lifeIn a month I will be 40.

That is the oddest sounding sentence I have ever uttered!

Everyone is the age of their heart. ~Guatemalan Proverb

 I don’t feel 40. I am not sure what 40 should feel like, I never thought about what it would feel like. So far there are no signs of gray hair or wrinkles…I see many my age whose genes are different, the heaviness of their life visible. Some are grandparents already and having a blast with that. Some have kids younger than most of mine. A lot of my friends are older, heck Jason is…maybe he keeps me feeling young. I feel our kids do too; we all have a ton of fun together doing life.

Grow old with me! The best is yet to be. ~Robert Browning

The thing is I don’t feel like I have aged since I was 20. Yes, I have had huge life events, amazing experiences, and learned hard lessons the hard way, learned from heartbreak, grown wiser and have let go of a lot of baggage I thought was important when I was younger. I am more comfortable in my own skin; I have more confidence and security in myself. I quit caring about a lot of things and started caring more about other things. Maybe it’s the letting go of baggage that keeps one feeling young. In years past I struggled to keep life looking perfect all the time…Clean house, great cooking, top-notch volunteer, best parent, perfect time manager…etc…etc… This only caused anxiety and suffering. It just took a few years to wake up to that.

Learning to say no and not be everybody’s everything was the best lesson, along with, stopping the comparison game and not caring what others thought about my life choices. It made me love me for me. Most importantly, it has been a great life experience to refer to in teaching my own kids to figure out who they are as a person not who they are by what they do or what others say about them… I’ve enjoyed parenting more. It’s been fun. Years ago I would have never thought that being transparent with my kids would be an amazing teaching aide. I’ve learned I don’t want them to see me as perfect but rather as brave because I did what I felt should be done and I handled all things with love and humor despite the outcome; that I tried things without care of how I would be looked at or how much I might fail. My kids are so much more confident and daring than I ever was at their age. So much excitement for their future just to hear about what they do and be along for the ride with some of the things they will do in life. I cannot wait!

A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams. ~John Barrymore

As each year passes I do more things I didn’t think I would do. Jason and I take on more adventures whether it is learning a new skill for fun, trying new foods or going to new places. It is all an adventure. They create memories and laughter. It provides a wealth of conversations we will have when they kids leave home and create their own life.

We sit very little. Luckily, we both love to explore and be active. Our kids are the same. Once summer began the questions started immediately “What adventure are we doing today? What new place we will see today?” They each will research and create their own list and I just love it. We are all always creating and planning and hoping….we may never have the time or money to do all that we imagine and hope but rest assured we will enjoy the planning and we will see if I feel older than 20 in another 40 years.

Men do not quit playing because they grow old; they grow old because they quit playing. ~Oliver Wendell Holmes

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