It might be bittersweet but there is always better things on the horizon.

I’ve never been one who wants kids to grow up too fast. There are stages I miss and some I don’t. But I’ve enjoyed each one and have been excited for the next.

As Mercie has neared the end of each stage there’s been some bitter sweetness but there’s also been some excitement, relief, thankfulness and a cleansing deep breath. I’ve had the privilege to have been at the end of each stage 3 times before. I know what’s on the other side. There’s some experience and knowledge of what to expect and how to deal with it as well as process it.

I have to admit each stage has its beautiful blessings however, I really like the older teen and adult kid stage. I get to enjoy the fruits of all the hard work I did as a mom and all the benefits of how J and I raised them together.

This year I am super excited that we will end our 12 year relationship with middle school. (Only 6 weeks left of it…) I’m not shocked my baby will be in high school soon. I’m excited and wish we were there already. I won’t miss the middle school stage one bit. Frankly, I can’t wait to wipe my hands clean of it. It’s been brutal. To be honest I can’t quickly think of many positives about it…

Soon I will only have 1 school to deal with… hardly any emails, but I stopped reading most of those a long time ago… today I removed myself from many Facebook groups. Even though I’m rarely on Facebook anymore it felt freeing to remove myself from groups that don’t matter or are just frivolous.

When you teach your kids responsibility and that it is on them to do the work and be aware then they step up and manage their school career. Don’t get me wrong I’m not oblivious to what’s going on I’m just not the one reminding them, doing it or hounding them. If they don’t learn to fail I’ve not done my best by them. High school is the perfect time to figure that out. We’re still a soft place for them to land as they learn and adjust. If that shocks you then you don’t have any in college where the consequences are harder, bigger and not as easy to recover.

Besides once you have one in college you realize whatever you thought about high school wasn’t as important or as big as you thought and your kids will think the same too. It’s just a minor stepping stone in life. Just like once they adjusted to high school they learned middle school wasn’t as big of a deal as they once thought.

Better things are always on the horizon. I’m enjoying the older kids phase a lot. There’s more conversations than lectures and discipline. There’s more time hanging out with one another vs staying in their room alone or always with a friend. Sharing a fav show, series, activity or music list is the best.

Let the crazy begin…

Well I just filled the outgoing mailbox with zero room to spare. Good luck Mr. Postman.

This day marks the beginning of the crazy, fun filled, memory making, all the feels summer. From now until August 26 our calendar is busy, busy, busy.

Of course, I do have some time blocks for relaxation and time with friends because I can’t do this summer without those things.

We are entering such an exciting time and I can’t wait for the new stage. But as those who have walked in these shoes know it is a tear jerking time. Glad I have some veterans with me. They’ll know better than I do when I need a moment, a drink, a laugh, a hug…

Let the rollercoaster or merry go round begin!

Hold on! The carousel never slows down…

Frequently I have to catch by breath and stop to ask myself when did my kids get to be so grown and great and amazing and beautiful and capable and…and…and… Time flies faster each year, that carousel is spinning at light year speeds and it isn’t going to slow down let alone stop. My first baby started high school today… she was a bundle of excitement and nerves. It is a large school and she is like me, needs to know where she is going and how to get there before she can feel more comfortable.

Today as I drove her to school I looked over and said something like yeah, high school… I honestly do not remember because what she said next had arms that reached into my chest and grabbed my heart and wouldn’t let go. I felt the sudden jolt of reality and pain and realized a little bit more of this parenting thing means they leave and while we know that deep down and while we may dream of plans when kids are grown etc… I think we quickly forget how fast it goes and for those of us that haven’t released a child from the nest it may as well be like and imaginary friend… we can’t see it, we don’t know what it feels like, it seems far away…

She blurted out”4 more years before I am gone mom!”

WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT? She has no idea what that did to me. Even if I told her she couldn’t comprehend that. Why did she feel she needed to say it? I mean she is 14, she knows nothing about what a parent feels, how much we love with our whole beings, how deeply we hurt when they hurt and how hard it is to not break down with each passing phase and I doubt she can understand the sorrow and joy we can feel at the same time, the kind that makes us sob so loudly, ugly and we fear we will never stop. All she knows is the excitement growing up can bring, more freedoms, driving, graduating, working (cuz work seems cool and new and fun..HAHA). But OUCH! That stung, it hit me in the gut, yet, I am so excited for all my kids and each new year.  I am loving who they all are becoming and if that carousel of life wasn’t spinning I wouldn’t know them like I do.

So today marks 12th year (preschool included) I have cried on the first day of school. Each year it seems to happen later in the day than it use to but I am not sure I will ever have a first day of school that is tear free and I have 10 more to go.

So thankful for friends to spend the mornings with after school drop off and quiet days it brings; it is good for my soul and in turn good for my family. I am very eager to hear from all 4 of them about their first day. They were all excited and ready for a new year. So very, very thankful the amazing and loving friends they all have new and old to enter this new school year with.

P.S. love my paint touches up I need to do? Gees, there once was a time I would have painted that before I took the picture…

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